You pray by talking to God. That is all it is. You use your own words, in your ordinary voice, about the things that are actually on your mind. You can do it out loud or silently, kneeling or walking or lying in bed. There is no required vocabulary, no posture that makes it count, and no minimum length. A single honest sentence is a prayer.
The reason you can do this is not that you are good at it. It is that Jesus has opened the way. Because of His death and resurrection, everyone who trusts Him is welcomed by God as a child by a Father, and children do not need an appointment to speak to their father. If you have never prayed, you may feel awkward, self-conscious, or unsure whether anyone is listening. Those feelings are normal and they pass. Below is what Jesus taught about prayer, a simple pattern He gave, what to do when you have no words, and how to begin this week.
God already knows, so you can stop performing
Many people imagine prayer as a performance: the right words, said the right way, to get a hearing. Jesus dismantled that idea:
And when you pray, do not babble on like pagans, for they think that by their many words they will be heard. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. — Matthew 6:7-8
Read that slowly. Your Father knows what you need before you ask. You are not informing Him of anything. You are not persuading a reluctant official. Prayer is not a way of getting God’s attention; you already have it. It is a way of bringing what is in you into the open before Someone who loves you and already knows.
That takes the pressure off. You do not need to sound religious. You do not need to fill silence. You can say, “God, I do not know how to do this,” and that is a prayer He hears.
Jesus gave a pattern, not a script
When His disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, He gave them a short prayer that Christians have prayed ever since:
So then, this is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’ — Matthew 6:9-13
You can pray these words exactly as they are, and many Christians do every day. But Jesus said “this is how you should pray,” not “this is what you must recite,” and the prayer works as a shape for your own words.
It begins with who God is: a Father, in heaven, whose name is holy. So begin by turning your attention to Him rather than to your list.
It asks for His kingdom and His will before anything else. So ask that what He wants would happen, in the world and in you.
It asks for daily bread: ordinary needs, today’s needs. So ask for the practical things: work, health, money for rent, patience with a child. Nothing is too small.
It asks for forgiveness, and it commits to forgiving others. So confess what you did wrong today, plainly, and tell Him whom you need help forgiving.
It asks for protection from temptation and evil. So name the things that pull you away from Him and ask Him to keep you.
Six lines, and a whole life fits inside them.
You can come exactly as you are
Some people delay praying until they feel clean enough. Jesus told a story about two men who went to the temple to pray, one confident in his own goodness and one who could barely look up:
But the tax collector stood at a distance, unwilling even to lift up his eyes to heaven. Instead, he beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner… I tell you, this man, rather than the Pharisee, went home justified. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” — Luke 18:13-14
The man with nothing to offer was the one God heard. That is the door you come through. Because of Jesus, you do not creep toward God hoping not to be noticed; you are invited to come with confidence:
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. — Hebrews 4:16
And you can bring all of it, not only the tidy parts:
Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is our refuge. Selah — Psalm 62:8
Anger, grief, fear, confusion, doubt. Pour it out. The psalms are full of people saying things to God that sound almost rude, and God kept those prayers in His book. If you are not sure what you feel, or feel nothing at all, I don’t feel anything may help.
When you have no words
There will be days you sit down to pray and nothing comes. That is not failure. Paul says it is the normal condition of believers, and that God has provided for it:
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words. — Romans 8:26
The Holy Spirit, who lives in every believer, prays alongside you and for you when you cannot. On wordless days, you can simply sit in God’s presence and say, “I am here, and I do not know what to say.” You can pray the Lord’s Prayer slowly. You can read a psalm aloud and let it be your prayer. Psalm 23, Psalm 51, and Psalm 139 are good ones to start with, and how to start reading the Bible will help you find your way around.
Does God actually answer
Yes, though not always in the way or on the timetable you would choose. Jesus encouraged persistence:
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. — Matthew 7:7-8
He goes on to compare God to a father who would not hand his child a stone when asked for bread. God gives good things to those who ask. Sometimes the good thing is what you asked for. Sometimes it is something better that you could not have known to ask for. Sometimes the answer is wait, and sometimes it is no, because God sees what you cannot. Jesus Himself prayed the night before He died that the cup might pass from Him, and then added that the Father’s will, not His own, should be done. Being told no by a loving Father is still being heard.
What Paul promises is not that every request is granted but that something happens in the one who prays:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. — Philippians 4:6-7
What you can do this week
- Choose a time. Two minutes when you wake and two minutes before sleep is enough to start. Attach it to something you already do.
- Begin with thanks. Name two or three specific things from the day. Specific is better than general.
- Say what is actually on your mind, in plain words. If you are worried about money, say so. If you are angry at someone, say so.
- Confess one thing you did wrong, and ask for forgiveness. Then ask for help with it tomorrow.
- Pray the Lord’s Prayer slowly, once a day, thinking about each line.
- Pray for one other person by name each day.
- Once you have found a church, pray with other Christians. Hearing others pray in ordinary language will teach you more than any article. How to find a church will help you get there.
A closing word
Prayer is not a skill you master before God will listen. It is a relationship you grow into by talking. Start badly. Start awkwardly. Start today. The Father who knows what you need before you ask is not grading your first attempt; He is glad you came.
If you want a first prayer to borrow, here is one in plain words: God, I have never really done this before. I believe You are there and that You hear me because of Jesus. Thank You for today. Here is what I am carrying. Please forgive what I have done wrong, help me with what is ahead, and teach me to talk with You. Amen.
